


We Might Live

by sohardtopickaname



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Confessions, F/M, Friendship/Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 09:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19787971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sohardtopickaname/pseuds/sohardtopickaname
Summary: - Ser Jaime... - she began uncertainly.- Yes, my lady? – he looked at her eagerly. – I mean, Ser.She couldn’t help a smile.- Ser Jaime, I was wondering if we could talk...- Of course.- ... if we could talk in private, - he couldn’t tell if it was the effect of sitting close to the fire or she blushed, but her cheeks were quite red.My take on the night before the battle of Winterfell.





	We Might Live

\- I think I’ll try to get a little sleep, - Tyrion stood up and swayed slightly, spilling the wine from the goblet in his hand.

\- Not a bad thought, - replied Ser Davos. – Are you going to your chambers or joining the club?

\- My chambers, although they certainly seem comfortable enough, - Tyrion smiled at Tormund and Podrick who were both snoring loudly in their chairs. – Jaime?

Jaime blinked and looked at his brother apologetically.

\- Forgive me, my mind must have drifted away.

\- Are you coming with me to get a little sleep?

Jaime cast a furtive glance at Brienne who was sitting motionless, staring at the flames.

\- No, I don’t think so, - he said and then added reluctantly: - Can you walk by yourself?

\- I would have to empty the entire cellar to not be able to walk by myself, dear brother. Good night then, Jaime. Ser Brienne.

\- Good night, - she responded, still looking at the flames.

She turned her head only after Tyrion and Ser Davos left.

\- Ser Jaime... - she began uncertainly.

\- Yes, my lady? – he looked at her eagerly. – I mean, Ser.

She couldn’t help a smile.

\- Ser Jaime, I was wondering if we could talk...

\- Of course.

\- ... if we could talk in private, - he couldn’t tell if it was the effect of sitting close to the fire or she blushed, but her cheeks were quite red.

\- Oh, - he jumped off his chair, nearly having knocked it over, and cursed himself silently, - Where do you suggest we go?

\- To my chambers, I think, - she said finally. – Very few people are sleeping, we probably can’t find any other place.

He offered her a hand and she took it clumsily, as if it was the first time someone had offered her a hand. _It probably was the first time_ , thought Jaime, as a hot wave of anger and, for Gods know what reason, shame rushed through him. They both stumbled, as he was trying to help her get on her feet, and laughed nervously.

She walked through the corridors at her usual brisk pace, and by the time they reached her room he was out of breath. She noticed, of course, and got embarrassed, and hastily offered him water and a chair, and her cheeks fashioned an even brighter shade of red.

\- What is that you wanted to talk to me about? - he asked finally, not daring to look her in the eyes, afraid that his own eyes would betray his desire, for he had been sure by then that it was desire that possessed him and made him turn chairs over and spill wine whenever she was around.

It took him years to admit to himself that it was not just gratitude and, perhaps, admiration that he felt for her. Years of weird dreams in which Cersei’s face would turn into Brienne’s as soon as he would attempt a kiss, years of weighing every decision to be made against what he thought Brienne would think about it, years of silent prayers for her safety to all the Gods he did not believe in, years of imagining her naked body while touching himself, years of flinching every time Cersei would call her _that cow_. Years of all that and one piercing look she shot at him in the Dragonpit, and one touch, _if that could be called a touch, for_ _she nearly dislocated his shoulder_ , and one profanity that flew out of her mouth.

Was it possible that she could also want him? It was an outrageous thought, yes, but she did invite him into her room late at night, and she was clearly struggling for words, and she was blushing.

\- Ser Jaime... You have led armies into battles, haven’t you?

\- Y-yes, - he stuttered.

\- Have you ever... – she bit her lower lip and clenched her fists, then shook her head slightly. - Have you ever been afraid? Have you ever felt as if you are not ready for it, that it had been all a mistake, that you could not be a good commander and you would just lead hundreds of people to a meaningless death?

His breath hitched in his throat. He would have felt less astounded if she kissed him, or punched him, or began to undress. _She trusted him_. She _truly_ trusted him. She trusted him more than he could have ever imagined. It was brave of her to vouch for him at the trial, and it was also a matter of trust, but this was different. He knew all too well how much easier it was to risk his life than to confess what he had thought to be his greatest weakness. He knew how much trust and bravery it must have taken her to ask that question.

\- Yes, - he said firmly. – Every single time, but the first was the worst of them all.

She exhaled as if she had been holding her breath for a while and then sniffed quietly.

\- But I can tell you one thing. I have never admitted it to anyone even if people asked. I was not brave enough, but you are. You are the bravest knight I have ever met, Ser Brienne of Tarth.

She smiled shyly.

\- I’ve been a knight for only a few hours, and I am a knight at all only because of you.

\- I am not talking about the title, I am talking about you. You have been a knight for as long as I have known you.

\- Thank you, Ser Jaime. I... I am grateful. I am truly grateful for everything you have done for me. I am wearing the armor you gave me, the sword on my hip is your sword, and Pod... I though of him as a burden at first, to be honest, but he turned out to be the best squire anyone could hope for.

\- I am pretty sure he didn’t just _turn out_ to be a good squire, - Jaime chuckled. – You made him such.

\- He wanted to learn, and he was ready to work hard. I only helped.

\- Fine. But we are not here to talk about Podrick, are we?

She laughed in response.

\- Don’t you think you should try to get a little sleep before the battle? – he suggested after a pause.

\- I... – she looked embarrassed. – I am too sound a sleeper. I might miss the horn if I fall asleep.

\- I will stay here and wake you up.

He could see how tempting the proposition sounded to her; it showed in the way she blinked, a tad slow to lift her heavy eyelids after closing them.

\- Are you sure? – she asked finally.

\- Yes, I am sure. That is, if you are not afraid of the potential gossip regarding me spending whatever is left of the night in your room.

\- I am not afraid of foul words, Ser Jaime. Thank you.

She sat on her bed and bent down to remove her boots, but the armor was making it difficult.

\- Let me help you, - he kneeled beside her and carefully pulled her boots off. – Do you need help with the armor?

\- No, I don’t think it’s wise to take it off. It will take too long to put it back on when the time comes.

\- Will you be able to sleep in it?

\- I used to sleep in my armor every night, - she said. – Back in Renly’s camp and later.

\- Why? – he asked, surprised.

\- Because... Well, I was afraid they could... play a cruel joke on me. If I were in armor, they would have to fight with me first, and that they would never do. It could have cost them a place in the Kingsguard. We were not allowed to fight between ourselves. Well, you know the rules.

\- I do, - he said, his voice harsh. – I am so sorry you had to live like that.

\- I was still happy. I thought I had found my place in life.

He carefully placed his hand on hers.

\- Take off your boots and lie on the bed, - she said, and it sounded as an order.

\- I won’t fall asleep, not in my armor.

\- It will still be easier on your back than sitting.

\- Are you sure? – he looked at her uncertainly.

\- Don’t be ridiculous, we’ve shared a bed before, and we were wearing much less metal back then.

He smiled, took his boots off, lied on his back and put his hand onto hers again.

\- Brienne.

\- Yes?

\- Thank you for trusting me. Your trust is the greatest honor I can imagine.

\- You are my friend, - she said softly. – I have never had a friend before.

\- I haven’t either, - he replied.

\- You have your brother and...

\- I love Tyrion, and I trust him, but... I would give my life for him, but I wouldn’t admit a weakness before him. He would have teased me to death. You are my only friend too, Brienne.

She squeezed his fingers lightly. He took a deep breath and continued:

\- And... I must say something. If we survive the battle, I...

She squeezed his fingers tighter and whispered:

\- I know.

\- You do?

\- I do. I know you will return to King’s Landing and fight for your sister. We don’t get to choose who we love. It was probably the first things you said to me that was not an insult, so I remember it well. And... I want you to know that you will not have to fight me. I will stay behind, to protect Sansa and...

\- This is not what I was going to say, - he swallowed. – Not at all.

\- What was it then?

\- If we survive the battle, I will be asking for you permission to return here, to your room.

\- Why? – she sounded confused.

\- Because... Because I want to. I want to be back here, in your room, in your bed, just like now, but... well, it would be nice if we would not be wearing any metal. It would be even better if we would not be wearing anything at all.

He felt his ears burning. He felt her hand become sticky with sweat. And then he heard the horn.

\- Fuck, - he cursed.

\- Was it a sentiment or a suggestion? - she asked in a strangely deep voice.

\- Both, - he barked and sat up in bed.

\- Then we are in agreement, - she said quickly and sat up as well. – My boots.

\- Brienne...

\- My boots, Jaime. Everything else will have to wait.

He helped her ease her feet into the boots and get off the bed. What was it that Tyrion said? _I think we might live_. _We just might_ , thought Jaime, walking behind Brienne towards the battlefield.


End file.
